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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
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Showing 1-10 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes | ||||||
1. | "Do you really believe your husband when he ... | Jokes Rating: |
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"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend. "Why shouldn't I?" said Jane. "Well, maybe he is having an affair?" "No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 2 |  | |||
2. | Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting | Jokes Rating: |
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Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you ?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. That's what she'd like for supper tonight." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 11 | | |||
3. | An Irish priest loved to fly fish..... | Jokes Rating: |
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An Irish priest loved to fly fish, it was an obsession of his. So far this year the weather had been so bad that he hadn't had a chance to get his beloved wadders on and his favourite flies out of their box Strangly though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course Sunday is the day he has to go to work. The weather forcast was good again for the coming Sunday so he called a fellow priest claiming to have lost his voice and be in bed with the flu. He asked him to take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove fifty miles to a river near the coast so that no one would recognise him. An angel up in Heaven was keeping watch and saw what the priest was doing. He told God who agreed that he would do something about it. With the first cast of his line a huge fish mouth gulped down the fly. For over an hour the priest ran up and down the river bank fighting the fish. At the end when he finally landed the monster size fish it turned out to be a world record Salmon. Confused the angel asked God, "Why did you let him catch that huge fish? I thought you were going to teach him a lesson." God replied "I did. Who do you think he's going to tell?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 40 | | |||
4. | Q. Where do fish sleep? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Where do fish sleep? A. In a river bed | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 47 | | |||
5. | Q: Where do fish keep their money? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q: Where do fish keep their money? A: In the river bank. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 8 | | |||
6. | Two morons rent a boat and go fishing.They ... | Jokes Rating: |
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Two morons rent a boat and go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st moron: I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish. 2nd moron: Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot. 1st moron: You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat? | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 9 | | |||
7. | Henry | Jokes Rating: |
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Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. "Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 12 | | |||
8. | A couple of young guys were fishing at their ... | Jokes Rating: |
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A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 13 | | |||
9. | Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman . | Jokes Rating: |
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Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 31 | | |||
10. | What is the definition of a | Jokes Rating: |
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What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb' - A temporary hook holder What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'? - The insecure connection between your fly hook and your fishing line What is the definition of a 'live bait'? - The biggest fish you will handle all day What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'? - A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb What is the definition of an 'Angler'? - An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling down due to neglect | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 38 | | |||
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