The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! |
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Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes rating
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11. | A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice.
"Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific...
Great!...
Thanks...
Okay...
Bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 50 |  |
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12. | The manager of a small business and his secretary | Jokes Rating: |    
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| The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep
When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.
He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.
When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?
The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.
His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 54 |  |
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13. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" |
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| Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 |  |
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14. | One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A | Jokes Rating: |    
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| One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years." |
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| Anonymous | 9th Apr 2003 | JokesID: 59 |  |
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15. | Liar, liar | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long.
The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit."
The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that."
Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern." |
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| Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 68 |  |
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16. | Taxidermist | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles.
He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?"
The man replied "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that."
The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish."
With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us". |
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| Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 70 |  |
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17. | No one in this town could catch any fish except .. | Jokes Rating: |    
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| No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man
The game warden asked him how he did it so the man told the game warden that he would take him fishing the next day...
Once they got to the middle of the lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish.
The game warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said " are you going to fish or talk?" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 1 |  |
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18. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Rating: |    
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| One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 |  |
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19. | A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ... | Jokes Rating: |    
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| A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope.
"That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man."
As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing." |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 4 |  |
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20. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Rating: |    
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| Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall
A. "Dam!" |
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| Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 |  |
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