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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 11-20 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score | ||||||
11. | Q: Where do fish keep their money? | Jokes Score: | 1447 | |||
Q: Where do fish keep their money? A: In the river bank. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 8 |  | |||
12. | A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ... | Jokes Score: | 1388 | |||
A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one." The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask." The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick." The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 55 | | |||
13. | Liar, liar | Jokes Score: | 1385 | |||
A young man and an old man were fishing on a pier.The young man started telling the old one that the night before he caught a trout that was over 3 1/2 foot long. The old man replied "Oh yea, well I was here 2 nights ago and I hooked something huge. After a 30 minute fight I finaly got it up and it was an old lantern and the thing was still lit." The young man said "Your lying. I can't believe that." Then the old man said "I'll tell you what, you knock a couple of foot off your trout and I'll blow out my lantern." | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 68 | | |||
14. | It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out .. | Jokes Score: | 1378 | |||
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 7 | | |||
15. | A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ... | Jokes Score: | 1369 | |||
A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man." As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 4 | | |||
16. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Score: | 1362 | |||
Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall A. "Dam!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 | | |||
17. | Why fishing is better than making love: | Jokes Score: | 1345 | |||
Why fishing is better than making love * When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good - If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. - And don't want to know how many other fish you caught. * In fishing you lie about the one that got away. - In loving you lie about the one you caught. * You can catch and release a fish. You don't have to lie, and promise to still be friends after you let it go. * You don't necessarily have to change your line to keep catching fish. * You can catch a fish on a 20-cent frozen squid. - If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum. * Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 17 | | |||
18. | Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. ... | Jokes Score: | 1308 | |||
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 69 | | |||
19. | One day while driving home from his fishing trip . | Jokes Score: | 1292 | |||
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside a monastery A monk came out and invited him inside to have dinner and spend the night. The motorist accepted. That night he had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef. Entering the kitchen, he asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the man replied, "I'm the chip monk." | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 30 | | |||
20. | A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens | Jokes Score: | 1272 | |||
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. After makind love, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation... "Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called." she says speaking in a cheery voice. "Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. that sounds terrific... Great!... Thanks... Okay... Bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 50 | | |||
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