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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score | ||||||
31. | Which fish can perform operations ? | Jokes Score: | 1204 | |||
Q. Which fish can perform operations? A. A Sturgeon ! | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 27 |  | |||
32. | The Deserted Fisherman. | Jokes Score: | 1188 | |||
The Deserted Fisherman. There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find. When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around. He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you." The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down. "Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?" The fisherman replied, " Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 57 | | |||
33. | Heard the one about the three blondes that went .. | Jokes Score: | 1178 | |||
Heard the one about the three blondes that went ice fishing and didn't catch anything? By the time they cut a hole big enough for the boat to fit in it was time to go home. | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 36 | | |||
34. | The Fishing season hasn | Jokes Score: | 1168 | |||
The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?" "Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts. "Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger. "Nope." "Well, meet the new game warden." "Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?" "Nope". "Meet the biggest liar in the state." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 56 | | |||
35. | The manager of a small business and his secretary | Jokes Score: | 1164 | |||
The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening. He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home. When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening? The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon. His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 54 | | |||
36. | "Do you really believe your husband when he ... | Jokes Score: | 1162 | |||
"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend. "Why shouldn't I?" said Jane. "Well, maybe he is having an affair?" "No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 2 | | |||
37. | A couple of young guys were fishing at their ... | Jokes Score: | 1161 | |||
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. "Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 13 | | |||
38. | "I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." ... | Jokes Score: | 1157 | |||
"I caught a twenty pound salmon last week." "Were there any witnesses?" "There sure were. If there hadn't been, it would have been forty pounds." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 51 | | |||
39. | An American investment banker was at the pier of . | Jokes Score: | 1148 | |||
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years." "But what then?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions?...Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 16 | | |||
40. | I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, | Jokes Score: | 1142 | |||
Two guys are talking about fishing. One says to the other, "I am NEVER going to take my wife fishing with me, ever again!" "That bad, huh" "She did everything wrong! She did everything wrong! She talked too much, made the boat rock constantly, tried to stand up in the boat, baited the hook wrong, used the wrong lures and WORST of all she caught more fish than me!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 41 | | |||
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