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Showing 31-40 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes

31.

A guy rings his boss and says "I can

Jokes Votes:

1871  



A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today

The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."

"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.

"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 48

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32.

Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman .

Jokes Votes:

1868  



Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.

Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.

Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.



Anonymous

19th Dec 2002

JokesID: 31

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33.

A couple of young guys were fishing at their ...

Jokes Votes:

1867  



A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden.

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden.

After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him.

"Let's see yer fishin license, boy!" the warden gasped.

With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license.

"Well, son," said the Game Warden. "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"

"Yes sir," replied the young feller. "But my friend back there, well, he don't have one..."



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 13

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34.

Q. Where does a fish keep his money?

Jokes Votes:

1866  



Q. Where does a fish keep his money

A. In the River Bank!



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 37

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35.

"What

Jokes Votes:

1863  



"What's the biggest fish you ever caught?"

"That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...."

"That's not so big!"

"Between the eyes?"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 26

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36.

Two Irishmen were walking down the street ...

Jokes Votes:

1857  



Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.

Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"

Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!

So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".

Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"

Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............

No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 21

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37.

A small town Doctor was famous in the area for ...

Jokes Votes:

1857  



A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor used his fishing scales.

The baby weighed 22 lbs 10 oz..



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 43

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38.

Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ...

Jokes Votes:

1853  



Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women:

Boats only need their fluids changed every year.

Boats curves never sag.

Boats last longer.

Boats don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Boat any time of the month.

Boats don't have parents.

Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can share your Boat with your friends.

If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn.

If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.

Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have.

Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.

If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Boat.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat.

You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals.

If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.

Boats always feel like going for a ride.

Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.

Boats don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.

If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 15

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39.

A man was surf fishing along the beach when he ...

Jokes Votes:

1848  



A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you any wish, but I can only grant one."

The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that really is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."

The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 55

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40.

Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were ...

Jokes Votes:

1834  



Two blondes rented a fishing boat, and were having a great day catching fish.

The first blonde said "This is such a great spot, we need to mark it so we can come back."

The second blonde proceeded to put a mark on the side of the boat.

The first blonde asked "What are you doing?"

The second blonde replied "Marking the spot."

"Don't be stupid" the first blonde said. "What if we don't get the same boat next time?"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 19

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