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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 41-50 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by worst jokes | ||||||
41. | Scientist | Jokes Rating: |
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What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them ! | ||||||
Anonymous | 20th Mar 2004 | JokesID: 88 |  | |||
42. | Live bait | Jokes Rating: |
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A local fisherman returning from a fishing trip with 6 large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yer!" replied our stalwart. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Nosey asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and our man replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with but of my rod!" Needless to say there were no more questions. | ||||||
MDC | 16th May 2004 | JokesID: 93 | | |||
43. | One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled | Jokes Rating: |
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One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 3 | | |||
44. | A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover ... | Jokes Rating: |
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A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. "That's what I like to see," said the priest, "A man helping his fellow man." As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well, he sure doesn't know the first thing about shark fishing." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 4 | | |||
45. | Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete .. | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall A. "Dam!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 5 | | |||
46. | It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out .. | Jokes Rating: |
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It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 7 | | |||
47. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Rating: |
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Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 | | |||
48. | Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river . | Jokes Rating: |
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Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 25 | | |||
49. | Q. Why are fish so smart? | Jokes Rating: |
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Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools! | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 35 | | |||
50. | A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern ... | Jokes Rating: |
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A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man responded. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH" "What fish?" the man asked. | ||||||
Anonymous | 19th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 29 | | |||
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