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Showing 51-60 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes score

51.

The manager of a small business and his secretary

Jokes Score:

4486  



The manager of a small business and his secretary decided to go over to her place for some "gymnastics". Afterwards, they both fall asleep

When the manager wakes up and looks at his watch, he discovers that it is after 8 o'clock in the evening.

He jumps up in a panic wondering what he's going to say to his wife. He tells the secretary to quickly take his shoes out into the yard and rub them around in the grass. Then he finishes dressing and goes home.

When the man opens the door to the house, his wife is standing in the doorway fuming and asks him where the hell he's been until 8:30 in the evening?

The man calmly replies that he and his secretary are having an affair and that they had fallen asleep after going to her place this afternoon.

His wife looked at him very carefully and when she saw the state of his shoes, she exclaimed: "You liar, you've been FISHING!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 54

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52.

Two Irishmen were walking down the street ...

Jokes Score:

4479  



Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.

Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask " how did you catch those ?"

Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!

So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try.
They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".

Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"

Paddy asks " do you have a fish Sean?"............

No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 21

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53.

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ...

Jokes Score:

4463  



Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.

The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait.

After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water.

After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom.

The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? "



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 18

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54.

Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the .

Jokes Score:

4385  



Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men finally catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

"Wow!" says the othe guy "It's a good job we didn't catch any more!"



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 45

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55.

The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ...

Jokes Score:

4357  



The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation.

"Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men".

Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 44

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56.

I got a new fly rod and reel for my ...

Jokes Score:

4350  



I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife...

...best trade I ever made.



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 46

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57.

Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish ..

Jokes Score:

4321  



Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.



Anonymous

16th Dec 2002

JokesID: 24

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58.

I was glad when one fish got away...

Jokes Score:

4177  



I was glad when one fish got away.

There just wasn't room in the boat for both of us!



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 52

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59.

The Fishing season hasn

Jokes Score:

4120  



The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks "Any luck?"

"Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday" he boasts.

"Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger.

"Nope."

"Well, meet the new game warden."

"Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?"

"Nope".

"Meet the biggest liar in the state."



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 56

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60.

What is the definition of a

Jokes Score:

3903  



What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb'

- A temporary hook holder

What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'?

- The insecure connection between your fly hook and your
fishing line

What is the definition of a 'live bait'?

- The biggest fish you will handle all day

What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'?

- A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but
quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb

What is the definition of an 'Angler'?

- An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling
down due to neglect



Anonymous

29th Jan 2003

JokesID: 38

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