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The Best Fishing Jokes on the Internet ! | ||||||
Showing 51-60 of 69 fishing jokes ranked by jokes votes | ||||||
51. | Slow Down! | Jokes Votes: | 392 | |||
A cop pulls a guy over for speeding and the guy's defence was, "I was just going with the flow of traffic." The Cop's response... "Ever go fishing?" "Yeah...." "Ever catch ALL the fish?" | ||||||
Joe | 2nd Nov 2003 | JokesID: 66 |  | |||
52. | A man phones home from his office and tells his .. | Jokes Votes: | 390 | |||
A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: "Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. Its the opportunity of a lifetime and we leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in and hour to pick them up." He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off. A week later he returns. His wife asks: "Did you have a good trip, dear?." He says "Oh yes it was great. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." His wife smiles and says, "Oh no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 20 | | |||
53. | Henry | Jokes Votes: | 389 | |||
Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was. "Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away." "Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, mommy." | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 12 | | |||
54. | Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ... | Jokes Votes: | 389 | |||
Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait. The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait. After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water. After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went straight to the bottom. The first priest turned to the second priest and asked, "Should we have told him where the rocks were? " | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 18 | | |||
55. | Mother to daughter advice:Cook a man a fish .. | Jokes Votes: | 383 | |||
Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 24 | | |||
56. | Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river . | Jokes Votes: | 383 | |||
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde,"we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the ottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!" | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 25 | | |||
57. | The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his ... | Jokes Votes: | 379 | |||
The Reverend McDreep encountered one of his parishioners returning from a days fishing and engaged him in conversation. "Ah Lachlan" he began in his best preaching tone "You are a fine fisherman, but I am a fisher of men". Lachlan, determined to get home for his tea, replied "Aye, I was passing your kirk (church) last Sunday and looked in the window, but you hadn't caught many..." | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 44 | | |||
58. | What is the definition of a | Jokes Votes: | 377 | |||
What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Thumb' - A temporary hook holder What is the definition of a 'Fisherman's Knot'? - The insecure connection between your fly hook and your fishing line What is the definition of a 'live bait'? - The biggest fish you will handle all day What is the definition of a 'Treble Hook'? - A hook that trebles the odds of you catching a fish but quadruples the odds of you getting it caught in your thumb What is the definition of an 'Angler'? - An obsessive individual who owns a house that is falling down due to neglect | ||||||
Anonymous | 29th Jan 2003 | JokesID: 38 | | |||
59. | Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: ... | Jokes Votes: | 375 | |||
Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women: Boats only need their fluids changed every year. Boats curves never sag. Boats last longer. Boats don't get pregnant. You can ride a Boat any time of the month. Boats don't have parents. Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Boat with your friends. If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler. You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn. If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden. When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time. Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have. Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines. If your Boat is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it. You can have a beer while riding your Boat. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat. You don't have to convince your Boat that you're a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals. If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again. You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it. Boats always feel like going for a ride. Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater. Boats don't care if you are late. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats. If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts. You can't get diseases from a Boat you don't know very well. | ||||||
Anonymous | 16th Dec 2002 | JokesID: 15 | | |||
60. | Taxidermist | Jokes Votes: | 266 | |||
A taxidermist was driving through Arkanas when he though he would stop at a local bar and have a beer.The locals didn't like outsiders in their bar and when he entered he was greeted with dirty stares and low mumbles. He went to the bartender and ask for a beer.The bartender looked the man over and than went to get his beer. When the bartender returned with his beer he asked the man "what do you do?" The man replied "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender replied "Taxidermist? what is that." The man replied "Well,I mount animals,birds,and fish." With that said the bartender turned to the other men in the bar and said "It's ok boys he's one of us". | ||||||
Shark | 7th Nov 2003 | JokesID: 70 | | |||
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